Consejos de Relación
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ISTJ

Relationship Tips for ISTJs

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Introducción

Relationships are a continual interplay of giving, receiving, and compromising. Although every MBTI type has its strengths and weaknesses, your type need not determine your behavior. Moving outside your comfort zone opens up the opportunity for healthy personal and interpersonal development. There are certain human needs that are universal and this makes it possible for any two types to connect with one another. If two people are willing to lower their defenses and genuinely attend to each other’s needs, then the relationship has a great chance for success and happiness.

Consejos por Tipo de Pareja

💑ISTJ + ISTJ
  • Rather than being critical or demanding, be explicit when you explain what your partner does that hurts or offends you.
  • Take time to really reflect on your feelings and emotions. Then agree to share them on a regular basis.
  • Remember to protect the trust between you and your partner, which makes it possible for you to cultivate intimacy.
  • Share the job of staying in touch with friends, family, and colleagues.
  • Be sure to encourage each other to maintain separate friendships and interests. Try new things together.
  • Don’t avoid confrontations. Initiate discussions and risk vulnerability with your partner.
  • Watch your tendency to be stubborn and unyielding. Remember the benefits of compromise and generosity, and temper your tendency to be critical of one another’s idiosyncrasies
💑ISTJ + ESTJ
  • Don’t withdraw or give your partner the silent treatment when you get angry or upset.
  • Share your thoughts and reactions with your partner. Don’t make him or her guess what you’re feeling.
  • Encourage your partner to socialize only as much as he or she needs and wants to, and don’t hold your partner back from doing things without you.
  • Initiate discussions or activities. Occasionally offer to host or attend social events.
  • Speak up. Don’t leave your partner guessing.
💑ISTJ + ESFJ
  • Don’t say no until you’ve given your partner a chance to tell you the whole idea. Resisting his or her plans will take the wind out of your partner’s sails.
  • Give verbal (or written) compliments on a regular basis.
  • Listen to your partner talk. Support his or her feelings, and don’t debate their validity or dismiss them as overreactions.
  • Share your feelings and thought process with your partner, rather than keeping them to yourself and assuming your partner knows how you feel.
  • Appreciate your partner’s hard work and efforts.
💑ISTJ + ISFJ
  • Pamper your partner with sensual pleasures and gifts.
  • Remember romance. Never underestimate the value of quiet, intimate times together. Offer small, thoughtful expressions of affection (cards, E-mails, and gifts).
  • Listen patiently without criticism or judgment, even if your partner is repeating himself or herself.
  • Be especially helpful and supportive during stressful or busy times.
  • Remember sentimental things and special days such as holidays and anniversaries.
  • Don’t dismiss your partner’s feelings or be critical of his or her reactions.
  • Compliment your partner on his or her looks and appreciate the many things he or she does to create and maintain a warm, well-organized, and comfortable home.
  • Share your own feelings and personal reactions rather than waiting to be asked.
💑ISTJ + ESTP
  • Be willing to occasionally let the little things go. Watch your tendency to be picky about order and precision.
  • Trust your partner. Encourage your mate to enjoy his or her spare time without having to account for every minute.
  • Try to participate in as many social activities as you can with your partner. Encourage him or her to go alone when you’re not up to it.
  • Participate in some of the adventures your partner suggests. Don’t automatically say no.
  • Be willing to stop what you’re doing. Occasionally leave things unfinished to enjoy the moment and have fun with your partner.
💑ISTJ + ISTP
  • Don’t fence your partner in! Accept that your mate needs lots of space and the freedom to pursue his or her interests.
  • Try to participate in some of the activities that interest your partner, such as watching a baseball game on TV, even if you’re not a big fan.
  • Make yourself available to do some things with your partner spontaneously. Agree either to leave what you’re doing or to plan for free time.
  • Watch your tendency to impose rules and structure on your partner.
  • Make sure to provide your partner with plenty of sensory stimulation, including back rubs, hugs, and lovemaking.
  • Surprise your partner with tickets to an event he or she likes. Plan the details for this unexpected evening out.
💑ISTJ + ESFP
  • Try to surprise your partner with thoughtful little gifts or expressions of affection.
  • Listen patiently, without criticism or judgment.
  • When you need time alone or time to think, let your partner know so that he or she doesn’t take it personally. Never give your partner the silent treatment.
  • Watch your tendency to be inflexible, judgmental, and negative. Don’t prevent your partner from experiencing the kind of social life he or she wants.
  • Appreciate and recognize your partner’s efforts to get things accomplished and the fun and laughter he or she brings to life.
💑ISTJ + ISFP
  • Focus on the positive; express your appreciation and affection.
  • Resist the urge to point out mistakes or errors all the time.
  • Remember to soften your words; avoid criticism; smile.
  • Be willing to leave some things unfinished occasionally and respond spontaneously to the many opportunities for fun that come up.
  • Try to go with the flow and not be so concerned about getting things done. Participate in some of the adventures your partner suggests.
  • Express your feelings and ask for your partner’s advice about how best to manage difficulties with other people.
  • Compliment your partner’s efforts, especially those tasks that he or she does only to please you.
💑ISTJ + ENTJ
  • Try to understand your partner’s need to talk about, circulate, and create new ideas. Listen with interest and patience as he or she works them out aloud.
  • Recognize and appreciate your partner’s individuality and uniqueness.
  • Try to express your appreciation in words. Write it out if that’s easier for you.
  • Be patient with the length of time some of your partner’s ideas take to become real. Support his or her investment of time and energy, especially for really big or complicated ideas.
  • Try to trust your partner’s innovation and hunches even when they seem far-fetched or too far in the future. Avoid pointing out errors in fact right away.
  • Compliment your partner’s great ideas and verbal skills.
  • Brag about your partner to other people, knowing it will get back to him or her.
💑ISTJ + INTJ
  • Go slowly when offering a lot of details about things that need to be done. Focus on the big picture first.
  • Respect your partner’s opinions and compliment him or her on the inventiveness and originality he or she brings to life.
  • Be specific about what you want and need in the way of assistance with household chores.
  • Understand that your partner is fundamentally a very independent person. Make sure there is plenty of opportunity for your mate to follow his or her inspirations and satisfy his or her intellectual curiosity.
  • When your partner is under stress, be sure to give him or her plenty of privacy, and don’t overwhelm your partner with too many details.
💑ISTJ + ENTP
  • Encourage your partner to socialize and spend time with friends and colleagues, even if you don’t wish to join in. Participate as much as you can.
  • Watch your tendency to be negative and try not to say no immediately to a new idea.
  • Avoid pointing out factual errors in your partner’s ideas. Be enthusiastic and supportive.
  • Be willing to consider alternatives, even seemingly outlandish ones. Try to be flexible and willing to experiment.
  • Compliment your partner on his or her intelligence and creativity. Appreciate the fun, energy, and excitement he or she brings to the relationship.
  • Surprise your partner.
💑ISTJ + INTP
  • Respect your partner’s independence, and don’t demand that he or she participate in all the activities in which you are interested.
  • Try not to control your partner’s schedule or impose too many rules or expectations on him or her.
  • Honestly consider some of your partner’s ideas before saying no or pointing out why they don’t make sense.
  • Compliment your partner on his or her innovation and fresh ideas.
  • Be patient with your partner’s sometimes complicated way of describing things. Listen patiently and ask questions so you better understand your partner’s perspective.
  • Never question your partner’s competence or put him or her on the spot in front of others.
💑ISTJ + ENFJ
  • Listen without criticizing or dismissing your partner’s feelings. Don’t be too controlling or bossy.
  • Initiate anything social.
  • Express your feelings (write letters if it’s easier than communicating verbally).
  • Comment on the joy and enthusiasm your partner brings to life. Compliment your partner on his or her good ideas and people skills.
  • Be positive; look for the good stuff. Smile and touch your partner.
  • Recognize your partner’s strong social needs. Don’t make him or her feel bad about going out without you.
  • Be patient with your partner’s long-winded and dramatic stories.
  • Offer to spend time just being with your partner. Take a walk or go out for coffee.
  • Ask for time to think about your response to a situation if you need it — but don’t take too long.
💑ISTJ + INFJ
  • Try to anticipate your partner’s needs. Step in and help out with big projects or mundane tasks without being asked.
  • Support your partner’s visions and dreams. Avoid squelching your mate’s enthusiasm by endlessly pointing out why his or her ideas aren’t practical.
  • Listen enthusiastically to your partner’s ideas. Resist the urge to say no immediately to suggestions for change.
  • Never dismiss your partner’s feelings or beliefs, even if you don’t understand or share them.
  • Share your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Talk, talk, and talk some more!
  • Initiate discussions rather than always waiting for your partner to drag things out of you.
  • Resolve conflicts and work to restore harmony. Never resort to silence.
💑ISTJ + ENFP
  • Compliment your partner on his or her good ideas, imagination, originality, and insights.
  • Ask for time to think things through rather than shutting down. Don’t resort to the silent treatment.
  • Watch your tendency to react negatively to new ideas or approaches your partner proposes.
  • Avoid making judgments about what your partner says. Resist the urge to point out factual mistakes.
  • Focus on the positive. Be patient and gentle, especially when your partner is upset or confused.
  • Trust your partner and encourage him or her to explore many different interests and friendships.
  • Avoid nit-picking and obsessing about details.
💑ISTJ + INFP
  • Compliment your partner on his or her many fresh and original ideas. Ask for advice about how to approach problems in a new way.
  • Give your partner plenty of time to gather the amount of information he or she needs to make good choices.
  • Respect how passionately your partner feels about his or her beliefs. Be careful not to discount or dismiss them.
  • Don’t press for decisions until your partner has an opportunity to sort things through internally.
  • Stay open and consider the new experiences your partner wants to check out. Beware of your tendency to resist change.
  • Use a gentle and appreciative tone of voice. Avoid criticizing or being condescending.

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