Consejos de Relación
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INTJ

Relationship Tips for INTJs

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Introducción

Relationships are a continual interplay of giving, receiving, and compromising. Although every MBTI type has its strengths and weaknesses, your type need not determine your behavior. Moving outside your comfort zone opens up the opportunity for healthy personal and interpersonal development. There are certain human needs that are universal and this makes it possible for any two types to connect with one another. If two people are willing to lower their defenses and genuinely attend to each other’s needs, then the relationship has a great chance for success and happiness.

Consejos por Tipo de Pareja

💑INTJ + INTJ
  • Give each other plenty of privacy and space to pursue your own interests.
  • Avoid “I told you so,” and don’t correct each other in public.
  • Take time to talk openly about your feelings, fears, and vulnerabilities. Share your insights and ideas. (Consider writing to each other.)
  • Set aside time on a regular basis to spend together. Try to relax your schedules and make room for spontaneity.
  • Give your partner your total attention when he or she is talking.
  • Be willing to explore new ways of developing and deepening emotional and physical intimacy.
💑INTJ + ESTJ
  • Recognize and appreciate all the little things your partner does to maintain the house and make your life easier.
  • Try to accommodate your partner’s need to talk things through.
  • Make time to do things together.
  • Try to let your partner know what’s going on in your life and include him or her in as much decision making as you can.
  • Resist the urge to critique your partner and offer suggestions as to how he or she could improve his or her life.
  • Try not to impose your own high standards on your partner.
  • Try to be flexible and realize that compromising now and then won’t jeopardize your independence.
💑INTJ + ISTJ
  • Watch your tendency to close yourself off. Be sure to tell your partner when you need more time to consider things.
  • Don’t be condescending or arrogant. Never criticize your partner or question his or her knowledge in public.
  • Avoid becoming so engrossed in your own projects that you become oblivious to what’s going on with your partner.
  • Tell others how much you appreciate your partner, knowing that he or she will hear this compliment from an objective third party.
  • Don’t assume that your partner knows what you want. Be specific and direct.
  • Especially when your partner is under stress, don’t ask him or her to make any unnecessary changes.
  • Try to include all the steps or important facts your partner needs to make a decision.
💑INTJ + ESFJ
  • Begin with the positive; be appreciative and complimentary.
  • Smile, maintain eye contact, and stop what you’re doing to look into your partner’s eyes when he or she is speaking.
  • Thank your partner for all the tangible ways he or she makes life more comfortable and happy.
  • Remember to observe the important holidays and rituals your partner loves. Make a special effort to celebrate anniversaries and birthdays.
  • Be gentle with constructive criticism.
  • Don’t become impatient with your partner’s emotional reactions, and never attempt to talk your mate out of the way he or she feels.
💑INTJ + ISFJ
  • Smile and look lovingly at your partner, especially when you first see him or her.
  • Slow down and be patient, particularly when you are discussing new topics or suggesting a new way of looking at old problems.
  • Begin by commenting on points of agreement. Emphasize the positive, and don’t dwell on the negative.
  • Watch your tendency to be critical, arrogant, or condescending.
  • Compliment your partner on tangible things. Thank your mate for all the little things he or she does to keep your life running smoothly.
  • Make an effort to share your feelings, thoughts, and reactions with your partner. Don’t shut him or her out.
💑INTJ + ESTP
  • Encourage your partner to get his or her social needs met. Try to participate as much as possible and make sure you encourage your mate to go places without you.
  • Make an effort to switch gears. Suggest that you do something spontaneous or surprise your partner.
  • Trust and encourage your partner to pursue his or her own interests.
  • Share your reactions and thoughts freely. Explain when you need time alone.
  • Watch your tendency to be critical and demanding. Don’t be condescending and impatient.
  • Try to simplify rather than complicate your communication style.
💑INTJ + ISTP
  • Respect your partner’s need for physical adventure and the opportunity to take risks.
  • Provide the facts in a step-by-step way. Don’t skip around or leave out important details.
  • Try not to lecture or give intellectual dissertations. Be clear and direct.
  • Be willing to experiment and try some of the physical experiences your partner suggests. Accompany your mate in as many activities as possible or encourage him or her to go without you.
  • Don’t fence your partner in. Relax and try to have fun in the moment.
  • Watch your insistence on always being right. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong or don’t know the answer. Apologize when you make a mistake.
💑INTJ + ESFP
  • Listen attentively and supportively when your partner is sharing his or her feelings with you. Focus on the details and remember important information about people.
  • Watch your tendency to be impatient, dismissive, and critical. Don’t say that your partner’s feelings don’t make sense.
  • Be willing to stop what you’re doing and participate in some of the social or spontaneous activities your partner enjoys. Encourage your partner to attend events without you if you can’t accompany him or her.
  • Share your feelings with your partner. Resist your tendency to work everything out privately without your partner’s help or input.
  • Express your appreciation of and devotion to your partner. Tell your mate that he or she makes you happy.
  • Make a clear distinction between your partner’s behavior (which you may not like) and how much you care about your partner as a person.
  • Make sure your partner feels free to enjoy his or her friends and social activities even if you don’t wish to participate. Don’t limit your partner’s freedom.
💑INTJ + ISFP
  • Listen attentively and sympathetically when your partner expresses his or her feelings and reactions. Don’t offer solutions to problems right away.
  • Watch your tendency to be dismissive and arrogant about your partner’s feelings or unwilling to discuss your own emotions.
  • Be willing to share your fears and vulnerabilities.
  • Receive the tenderness your partner wishes to give you.
  • Try to go along with some of your partner’s spontaneous and fun ideas and adventures.
💑INTJ + ENTP
  • Never criticize or question your partner’s competence in public.
  • Encourage your partner’s independent social life but attempt to participate in some of his or her social activities. Make an effort to meet and like his or her friends.
  • Try to be flexible. Practice letting the small annoyances go.
  • Plan surprises for your partner. Arrange for periodic dates away from home and work. Try new things.
  • Give your partner a few choices but be sure to offer ones that you can live with.
  • Don’t try to nail your partner down before he or she has considered all the options and maybe even asked other people for their opinions.
💑INTJ + INTP
  • Try to accommodate your partner’s need for spontaneity. If necessary, plan for it in advance.
  • Schedule downtime for the two of you to get away. Be willing to leave plans open and respond to the moment without having an agenda or predetermined destination.
  • Watch your tendency to point out flaws in your partner’s ideas or feel compelled to improve on them.
  • Try not to impose too many rules or too much structure on your partner. Encourage his or her freedom and need to question the status quo.
  • Respect your partner’s curiosity and need to consider many options before making a decision.
💑INTJ + ENTJ
  • Try to go out more or invite people to your house to socialize.
  • Ask your partner to think about a problem you’re having and offer his or her insights.
  • Compliment your partner on good points he or she makes in an argument.
  • Initiate intimacy and discussions.
  • Ask for the space you need, but try not to wall yourself off for extended periods of time.
  • Try to pick up on clues that something is bothering your partner. Be open to a discussion of his or her feelings, although that might be uncomfortable for you.
💑INTJ + ENFJ
  • Be patient and accepting of your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t understand them or they seem illogical to you.
  • Ask your partner’s advice and insights about other people, especially about others’ feelings, needs, or motivations.
  • Listen attentively to your partner’s stories, especially those about people and about his or her other relationships.
  • Support your partner’s professional efforts, especially concerning changes that are difficult or scary. Encourage your partner to stretch.
  • Try to express your feelings, reactions, and appreciation. Don’t clam up, because your partner may think you’re mad at him or her.
  • Smile, be gentle, and ask how your partner is feeling.
💑INTJ + INFJ
  • Tell your partner straight-out what you want him or her to do to please you or what things you wish were different in your relationships. Don’t make your partner play guessing games.
  • Ask your partner for his or her opinions on issues rather than assuming you know how he or she feels.
  • Respect your partner’s expertise and knowledge. Never question your partner’s competence in public.
  • Respect your partner’s need for time alone to pursue his or her own projects, then genuinely give it without implying that you feel left out or lonely.
  • Help your partner express his or her feelings and work through his or her frustrations with other people.
💑INTJ + ENFP
  • Try to talk and share your feelings freely with your partner. Don’t close down or dismiss your partner’s reactions.
  • Try to participate in more social events. Resist the urge to retreat into your work, a book, your computer, etc.
  • Give your partner your undivided attention, and be especially attentive when he or she is sharing emotional concerns.
  • Notice, comment, and be appreciative when your partner does something nice for you.
  • Admit when you’re wrong, and recognize there are other “right ways” of doing things besides your own. Don’t impose your standards on your partner.
  • Let your partner know when something is bothering you. Don’t wait for the resentment to build until it explodes.
  • Try not to criticize your partner. Begin with and emphasize the positive.
💑INTJ + INFP
  • Focus on the positive. Start by acknowledging and complimenting, not criticizing.
  • Share your feelings, concerns, and fears — don’t hide them or bottle them up. Be gentle and tactful.
  • Try to temper your natural competitiveness — with yourself and everyone else!
  • Try not to impose too many rules and too much structure on your partner.
  • Organize spontaneous activities just for the two of you. Surprise your partner.
  • Listen without judgment. Your partner will see that as a sign of affection.

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