Consejos de Relación
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ESFJ

Relationship Tips for ESFJs

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Introducción

Relationships are a continual interplay of giving, receiving, and compromising. Although every MBTI type has its strengths and weaknesses, your type need not determine your behavior. Moving outside your comfort zone opens up the opportunity for healthy personal and interpersonal development. There are certain human needs that are universal and this makes it possible for any two types to connect with one another. If two people are willing to lower their defenses and genuinely attend to each other’s needs, then the relationship has a great chance for success and happiness.

Consejos por Tipo de Pareja

💑ESFJ + ESFJ
  • Emphasize the positive. Appreciate and compliment each other frequently, especially expressing gratitude for all the ways your partner makes you happy and keeps life comfortable and running smoothly.
  • Be loving and tactful even when you’re angry. Don’t sacrifice honesty for temporary harmony.
  • Think about what would make you happy, then do it for your partner. (For example, do a chore that is your partner’s responsibility.)
  • Don’t bottle things up and then risk blowing up. Try not to keep score.
  • Think about what you want to say ahead of time so you can approach your partner calmly, rationally, and not defensively.
  • Listen attentively and think before you speak. Don’t assume that because you’re alike, you know just what your partner wants and feels.
  • Let household chores wait sometimes. Schedule downtime just to relax together, and let the outside world wait.
💑ESFJ + ESTJ
  • Try to remain calm and rational when presenting your feelings. Try not to exaggerate or overreact.
  • Explain when you need your partner to listen without suggesting ways of resolving the problem.
  • Once an issue is settled, don’t bring it up again.
  • Compliment your partner on his or her achievements. Thank your mate for all the hard work and the ways he or she makes life more secure and comfortable.
  • Take a load off your partner by doing one of his or her chores.
  • Tell other people how much you admire your partner. Third-party compliments are usually more credible and well received.
  • Present your ideas or arguments logically. Ask your partner to help you see the natural consequences of actions.
💑ESFJ + ISTJ
  • Don’t talk over or for your partner. Let your mate finish his or her thoughts before responding.
  • Give your partner plenty of time to make a decision. Remember that even if the first response is no, in time your partner may change his or her mind.
  • Get your high social needs met with regular time out with friends, but strive to find a balance between outside activities and quiet time spent at home or participating in some activity your partner enjoys.
  • Stay calm and objective during discussions. Make your points clearly, honestly, and as unemotionally as you can.
  • Don’t put off important discussions too long because you’re afraid to rock the boat. Be clear and explicit about what you want your partner to do differently.
💑ESFJ + ISFJ
  • Pay attention to your partner. Try not to become so overextended with outside activities that your partner feels neglected.
  • Be an attentive, patient, and supportive listener. Recognize your partner’s need to think about things before discussing them.
  • Resist the urge to try to fix problems immediately or finish your partner’s sentences.
  • Be patient and recognize that your partner may need a slower, more deliberate pace than you do.
  • Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Give your partner plenty of time to adjust to changes in plans, and recognize that he or she may need more “transition time” than you do.
  • Be respectful and considerate. Never share private information about your partner with other people without your partner’s permission.
  • When attending social functions, try to make your partner comfortable by introducing him or her to people he or she may enjoy talking to.
💑ESFJ + ESTP
  • Give your partner plenty of personal freedom and the opportunity to have unstructured time.
  • Encourage your partner to socialize with friends, stop in for spontaneous visits, and cultivate a variety of friendships.
  • Compliment your partner on his or her looks. Thank your mate for the things he or she does impulsively to help brighten your day.
  • Be calm and direct. Try not to exaggerate or overreact.
  • Don’t avoid conflict or sugarcoat things. Be direct and honest.
  • Try to be more spontaneous and to try some of the adventurous suggestions your partner makes.
💑ESFJ + ISTP
  • Never betray your partner’s confidence by sharing intimate information with others.
  • Give your partner plenty of time to think about important matters and feelings before having to discuss them. Respect his or her privacy.
  • Listen carefully and attentively. Stop whatever you’re doing, because you may miss what your partner is saying and he or she probably won’t repeat it. Ask questions and wait patiently for answers.
  • Try to be flexible with your schedule and willing to participate in some of the adventures your partner suggests. Plan to be spontaneous.
  • Encourage your partner to spend time alone working on projects or interests. Allow him or her to opt out of some of the social events you wish to attend.
  • Enjoy quiet time together. Don’t automatically assume something’s wrong when your partner is silent.
💑ESFJ + ESFP
  • Plan a surprise party for your partner. Do all the planning and organizing, but make it a purely fun and spontaneous event for your partner.
  • Try not to press or pressure your partner for answers or decisions. Be patient with his or her need to gather a lot of information.
  • Be willing to adjust your plans or postpone what you’re doing to accompany your partner on the adventures he or she suggests.
  • Encourage your partner to spend time with friends or pursuing interests that you don’t share. Don’t make him or her feel guilty.
  • Don’t immediately say no. Wait and consider the many suggestions that your partner makes, even if they may at first seem irresponsible or far-fetched.
💑ESFJ + ISFP
  • Accommodate your partner’s need for freedom to respond to the moment. Whenever possible, encourage his or her spontaneity.
  • Try not to place unnecessary restrictions on your partner’s activities, overschedule, or make your partner account for all his or her time.
  • Provide plenty of physical stimulation, such as touching and back rubs. Encourage your partner’s desire for spontaneous lovemaking.
  • Give your partner time to process his or her feelings before talking about problems. Don’t interrupt or finish your partner’s sentences.
  • Try to deal with conflicts immediately, but always positively and gently.
  • Express your appreciation of your partner’s efforts to be helpful.
  • Be sensitive to your different social needs. Don’t drag your partner to social engagements too often (be sure to introduce him or her to compatible people when you do).
  • Surprise your partner.
💑ESFJ + ENTJ
  • Respect and appreciate your partner’s many good ideas and superior creative problem-solving skills.
  • Recognize and support your partner’s career and work. Compliment your partner on his or her achievements and accomplishments.
  • Try not to take your partner’s comments or critiques too personally. Step back and remember that your partner’s motivation is to help you.
  • Learn about some of the issues or activities that interest your partner so you can discuss them with him or her.
  • Never question your partner’s competence in public.
  • Resist the urge to point out factual errors in your partner’s ideas or to insist on seeing evidence that an idea will work.
  • Be honest and direct when your partner does something that hurts or offends you.
💑ESFJ + INTJ
  • Begin with the positive; be appreciative and complimentary.
  • Smile, maintain eye contact, and stop what you’re doing to look into your partner’s eyes when he or she is speaking.
  • Thank your partner for all the tangible ways he or she makes life more comfortable and happy.
  • Remember to observe the important holidays and rituals your partner loves. Make a special effort to celebrate anniversaries and birthdays.
  • Be gentle with constructive criticism.
  • Don’t become impatient with your partner’s emotional reactions, and never attempt to talk your mate out of the way he or she feels.
💑ESFJ + ENTP
  • Laugh at your partner’s jokes and enjoy his or her witticisms. Appreciate your mate’s problem-solving skills.
  • Encourage and support your partner’s career decisions.
  • Try not to force your partner into eliminating options prematurely. Be patient with his or her boundless curiosity.
  • Don’t fence your partner in. Encourage him or her to cultivate other friendships, and don’t ask your mate to account for every minute of his or her time.
  • Resist the urge to make value judgments about your partner’s behavior or friends.
  • Recognize your partner’s need for spontaneity and accommodate it whenever you can. Plan for unstructured time.
  • Try to be flexible and choose your battles carefully. Share control.
  • Try to roll with the punches and not be offended by things your partner says that inadvertently hurt your feelings.
💑ESFJ + INTP
  • Be gentle and diplomatic, especially when discussing unpleasant subjects or problems.
  • Share specific details about your day, especially the people involved.
  • Demonstrate that you’re listening by making comments. Maintain eye contact and stay physically close.
  • Express your feelings and appreciation in words. Compliment your partner on the many things he or she does to make your home happy and comfortable.
  • Initiate and then follow through on chores and projects. Don’t leave things unfinished, and always pick up after yourself.
  • Be willing to discuss issues even after you think they’re settled. Indulge your partner’s need to figure things out aloud.
  • Never dismiss your partner’s feelings, even if they don’t seem logical.
💑ESFJ + ENFJ
  • Appreciate your partner’s ability to imagine possibilities. Support his or her ideas whenever you can.
  • Engage in “dream planning” — making wish lists of desired careers, trips, and the like — even though your dreams may never become reality.
  • Resist your urge to point out the factual errors in your partner’s ideas or to constantly correct inaccuracies.
  • Prioritize your time. Make sure you devote enough time to your partner and family.
  • Be willing to give and receive honest feedback. Share your feelings, even though doing so may temporarily upset your partner.
  • Try not to get upset when your partner talks about changes. Allow him or her to fantasize without limits.
💑ESFJ + INFJ
  • Respect your partner’s need to think things through, especially important issues, before discussing them.
  • Encourage your partner to pursue his or her own interests, projects, and friendships independently without worrying that it will hurt your feelings.
  • Listen enthusiastically and respectfully to your partner’s ideas and visions. Ask questions to demonstrate your interest.
  • Don’t interrupt or rush your partner into another topic. Be patient with his or her desire to discuss ideas in depth.
  • Resist the urge to immediately point out why an idea may not be practical or workable.
  • Don’t try to make your partner feel guilty for not participating in as many social activities as you do.
💑ESFJ + ENFP
  • Don’t immediately shoot holes in your partner’s ideas, pointing out why they won’t work. Be an enthusiastic listener and encourage your mate’s imagination.
  • Try to relax a bit about deadlines and schedules. Be willing to let things go occasionally.
  • Don’t overschedule your time as an individual and as a couple. Try to plan for free time.
  • Try to focus on the positive.
  • Encourage your partner to have some free time and pocket money that he or she doesn’t need to account for.
  • Compliment your partner on his or her good ideas, imagination, and creativity.
  • Try not to resist your partner’s unusual suggestions. Give them a try and see how they might broaden your horizons.
💑ESFJ + INFP
  • Before insisting that your partner help you with something, step back to determine whether the project really needs to be finished now.
  • Allow your partner to show you the joys of a lazy afternoon or the delights of diversions found off the beaten path.
  • Remember to ask your partner’s opinion, then allow plenty of time for him or her to think about the issue before answering.
  • Don’t interrupt or finish your partner’s sentences. Listen to his or her dreams and allow yourself a flight of fancy.
  • Enjoy spending time together in silence.
  • Beware that your strong emotional reactions may cause your partner not to share his or her feelings. Calm down and use a softer voice to draw your partner to you.

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