ISTP💞ISTP
ISTP + ISTP
Introduction
Every relationship holds the potential for conflict and the potential for growth. What sets same-type relationships apart is the possibility of profound mutual understanding, as well as the possibility of going to extremes. Same-type relationships can be remarkably comfortable and supportive. Sameness is a blessing when someone knows you so well that they help you see yourself better. However, same-type relationships can also become a curse of deep dysfunction, if the worst aspects of the personality type are allowed to continue unchecked.
Thus, same-type couples should be vigilant about getting stuck in a rut of unhealthy patterns. They should make a conscious effort to challenge each other and steer themselves in the direction of relationship growth, via addressing the personal problems that hold back that growth. In other words, personal development and relationship health are particularly intertwined in same-type pairings. I will list common problems to look out for in each pairing based on functions. Remember that different people are at different stages of type development (consult the Type Development Guide for more detail). Not everyone will exhibit the same level of dysfunction, and some unhealthy patterns are easier to address than others.
Negative patterns to be aware of:
Unhealthy Ti: lazy, reductive, or arrogant in judgment; stubborn, prideful, or remote in social interactions; dismissive of anything that doesn’t directly concern oneself; relies on oversimplified rules and formulas to navigate relationships
Unhealthy Se: shallow and/or oversimplistic perspective; self-sabotages with impulsive behavior, addictive tendencies, and/or careless decision making; denies or runs from problems; unwilling to confront anything deemed unpleasant, negative, or difficult
Unhealthy Ni: sullen or negative attitude; can’t envision ways to improve upon unhealthy behavior and/or change problematic situations; unable to commit to one course of action; looks for excuses to avoid action or put off making important decisions about the future
Unhealthy Fe: unable to understand emotional issues/problems; does not see or acknowledge other people’s perspectives; not considerate or inclusive when making decisions; causes unintentional harm when extremely stressed/unhappy
Ways to use your functions better:
Ti: analyze problems together by listening carefully, learning the facts, and addressing the root causes; remember that people won’t know you care for them unless you SHOW it in ways that address their emotional needs; remember that being in a relationship means that you are promising to care about another person’s life, even when it doesn’t directly relate back to you; remember that people can be unpredictable, so it’s better to be adaptable as the situation changes, rather than rely on rules and formulas that leave you stranded
Se: be more willing to talk about problems so that you develop a deeper understanding of them; being in a relationship means that you should always consult with your partner when your actions will affect them; relationship problems aren’t always easy to sort out, so have more patience to get through the rough times and have faith that you’ll come out stronger together on the other side
Ni: value self-improvement so that you make the most of your potential; keep the relationship evolving by setting goals for the future together, so that you both feel a sense of purpose and progress; remember that the right remedy to boredom is to live a more meaningful life, so make a commitment to something bigger than just daily survival
Fe: improve emotional intelligence so that you are more emotionally aware; learn to spot signs of unhappiness earlier so that you can heal it before it becomes destructive; acknowledge that each of you has your own perspective and talk more about it in order to foster mutual understanding; let people know what you need and promise that you’ll attend to their needs once your needs are met, instead of just going off on your own and leaving them feeling hurt or abandoned