ISFP💞ISFP
ISFP + ISFP
Introduction
Every relationship holds the potential for conflict and the potential for growth. What sets same-type relationships apart is the possibility of profound mutual understanding, as well as the possibility of going to extremes. Same-type relationships can be remarkably comfortable and supportive. Sameness is a blessing when someone knows you so well that they help you see yourself better. However, same-type relationships can also become a curse of deep dysfunction, if the worst aspects of the personality type are allowed to continue unchecked.
Thus, same-type couples should be vigilant about getting stuck in a rut of unhealthy patterns. They should make a conscious effort to challenge each other and steer themselves in the direction of relationship growth, via addressing the personal problems that hold back that growth. In other words, personal development and relationship health are particularly intertwined in same-type pairings. I will list common problems to look out for in each pairing based on functions. Remember that different people are at different stages of type development (consult the Type Development Guide for more detail). Not everyone will exhibit the same level of dysfunction, and some unhealthy patterns are easier to address than others.
Negative patterns to be aware of:
Unhealthy Fi: unstable or messy lifestyle; unable to understand experiences that one can’t relate to; can’t function well when preoccupied with own concerns and easily misled by intense feelings and emotions; moralistic, judgmental, or self-righteous in evaluating people and social situations
Unhealthy Se: shallow and/or oversimplistic perspective; self-sabotages with impulsive behavior, addictive tendencies, and/or careless decision making; denies or runs from problems; unwilling to confront anything deemed unpleasant, negative, or difficult
Unhealthy Ni: sullen or negative attitude; can’t envision ways to improve upon unhealthy behavior and/or change problematic situations; unable to commit to one course of action; looks for excuses to avoid action or put off making important decisions about the future
Unhealthy Te: lack of objectivity during conflict; careless disregard for rules, facts, and logic; aims to win arguments rather than find common ground; unreasonably critical of everything when extremely stressed/unhappy
Ways to use your functions better:
Fi: practice proper self-care - attend to your emotional needs in a timely manner, talk out your feelings, and accept help as necessary; take more interest in each other’s inner world because it will help you understand your own better; remember that passing judgment too quickly hurts people’s dignity and hinders true understanding, so be willing to hear more sides to the situation in order to discover a better approach
Se: be more willing to talk about problems so that you develop a deeper understanding of them; being in a relationship means that you should always consult with your partner when your actions will affect them; relationship problems aren’t always easy to sort out, so have more patience to get through the rough times and have faith that you’ll come out stronger together on the other side
Ni: value self-improvement so that you make the most of your potential; keep the relationship evolving by setting goals for the future together, so that you both feel a sense of purpose and progress; remember that the right remedy to boredom is to live a more meaningful life, so make a commitment to something bigger than just daily survival
Te: when you’re hurt or upset, ask for time to process as necessary, then return to problems with a clearer head; allow people the freedom to be who they are and have their own thoughts, beliefs, and opinions; differences of opinion should be dealt with through calm matter-of-fact discussion or agreeing to disagree; when you’re unhappy, instead of acting out, get back in touch with who you really are, what you need, and distance yourself from things that aren’t healthy for you