INFP💞INFJ
INFP (Fi-Ne-Si-Te) + INFJ (Ni-Fe-Ti-Se)
Potential for Conflict
Fi v. Fe: Both types are people-oriented but INFPs tend to defend individual experience whereas INFJs tend to defend social values. INFPs might be too inexpressive and this might lead INFJs to overanalyze the relationship or project things onto the INFP that do not exist. INFJs might sabotage the relationship by having too many unreasonable expectations and INFPs might respond to this by clamming up or retreating into self-defense. Neither type is good at expressing their personal/emotional needs in a forthright manner and this can lead to disappointments or unresolved resentments.
Ne v. Ni: Both types are idealists and hold strong convictions. However, intellectually, INFPs are less structured in their pursuit of knowledge than INFJs. INFPs are more willing to follow tangents and dead-ends whereas INFJs are much more focused in terms of wanting to confirm their ideas/theories. Thus, INFPs might see INFJs as narrow-minded or stubborn, and INFJs might see INFPs as impractical or living in a fantasy world.
Si v. Se: INFPs can use Si defensively to retreat into brooding about the past, which can lead to them having low self-esteem. INFJs can use Se defensively to overindulge in sensory pleasures to cover up stress or personal problems, which can lead to a form of self-hatred. Both types can get obsessive about insignificant details. This combination of defensive behaviors can potentially be quite destructive for a relationship.
Te v. Ti: INFPs are very resistant to perceived external control or structure, and INFJs might see this as vain, lazy, or obstinate. INFJs are analytical but can use Ti to defend their problematic behaviors or tear the other person down, and INFPs might view this as unreasonable or cruel.
Both are introverted and this can lead to an overdependence on each other for social connection. Both tend to avoid/withdraw from conflict and this could lead to a build up of problems or an unhealthy cycle of poor communication.
Opportunities for Growth and Balance
INFP: Remember that INFJs are sensitive just like you. They need some external signs of care and affection in order to feel the relationship is healthy, so be more willing to open up about your private thoughts and feelings. They will see this as a sign of trust and intimacy. INFJ: Remember that INFPs are sensitive just like you. They are always avoiding hurting/harming others and this can make them seem stand-offish or evasive. They have strong values so do not press too hard on their beliefs if you do not understand where they are coming from. If their behavior is ambiguous or unclear, try to inquire in a reasonable manner, instead of using a judgmental or accusatory tone.
INFP: Remember that INFJs are focused people who seek a sense of closure and do not like uncertainty. Fulfill your promises/duties in a timely and never leave them hanging. INFJ: Remember that INFPs are creative people who like to explore possibilities, so be more willing to indulge their “flights of fancy”. Take more interest in their hobbies/activities. They like to keep their options open and do not like to feel tied down, so give them some flexibility in meeting demands or obligations.
When you are having problems (either individually or in the relationship), share those issues and concerns with each other. Listen to each other empathetically. INFP: Remember that you have to talk about problems in order to solve them, even if people get angry or hurt in the process. The longer you leave problems to fester, the more harmful it is in the long run for everybody. INFJ: Do not follow the urge to “fix” problems for INFPs. Sometimes they need a lot of time to come to terms with some negative event. Lend them a sympathetic ear and do not judge them. Encourage them to open up but do not push them into anything they are not comfortable with. Be patient.
Improve your communication skills so you can talk about problems and needs openly in a reasonable and calm manner. Avoid hurling blame, accusations, or insults. Focus on the action/behavior and not the person.
Get out more. Do some volunteer, community, or charity work together. Have friends outside of the relationship. Do not focus unhealthy amounts of attention on each other.