ENTJ💞ENTJ
ENTJ + ENTJ
Introduction
Every relationship holds the potential for conflict and the potential for growth. What sets same-type relationships apart is the possibility of profound mutual understanding, as well as the possibility of going to extremes. Same-type relationships can be remarkably comfortable and supportive. Sameness is a blessing when someone knows you so well that they help you see yourself better. However, same-type relationships can also become a curse of deep dysfunction, if the worst aspects of the personality type are allowed to continue unchecked.
Thus, same-type couples should be vigilant about getting stuck in a rut of unhealthy patterns. They should make a conscious effort to challenge each other and steer themselves in the direction of relationship growth, via addressing the personal problems that hold back that growth. In other words, personal development and relationship health are particularly intertwined in same-type pairings. I will list common problems to look out for in each pairing based on functions. Remember that different people are at different stages of type development (consult the Type Development Guide for more detail). Not everyone will exhibit the same level of dysfunction, and some unhealthy patterns are easier to address than others.
Negative patterns to be aware of:
Unhealthy Te: generates superficial solutions to problems due to being unable/unwilling to grasp the deeper underlying root causes; tends to shut down disagreement/conflict rather than work through it patiently and sensitively; quick to judge people as “broken” objects to be “fixed” whenever they don’t conform with expectations to behave “productively”; paternalistic approach to relationships leads to controlling behavior or violating people’s boundaries
Unhealthy Ni: won’t slow down enough to accurately visualize implications; unable to identify pointless, meaningless, or overreaching behavior in oneself; can’t feel satisfied, happy, or fulfilled even when achieving goals; unable/unwilling to admit that one’s idealism is actually motivated by egotism
Unhealthy Se: difficulty being present to enjoy life; suffers from distorted standards of beauty and/or success; shallow mindset leads to craving for fleeting, superficial rewards; overreactive to setbacks such that emotional volatility sabotages goal attainment
Unhealthy Fi: out of touch with emotional needs and does not understand individual differences in emotional needs; can’t detect one’s own amoral/hypocritical behavior and the harm it does; oversimplistic and categorical moral judgment leads to lack of empathy; indulges self-pity and victim mentality when extremely stressed/unhappy
Ways to use your functions better:
Te: stop to listen to what people have to say about a problem to ensure that you’ve got ALL the facts; when you want to solve a problem, remember that it’s better to invest time to do it through friendly collaboration, rather than rush and cause pushback; remember that not everyone sees things the same way you do and that should be okay (it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong with them); when you want to engage people or help them,obtain consent and move with their input every step of the way
Ni: in order for plans to go well, visualize all the possible paths/effects/outcomes; work with your partner to set meaningful goals for the relationship and ensure that it keeps evolving; get in touch with what you really want out of life and make sure it is reflected in all of your decision making; worthy ideals should always be backed by noble intentions, so check your intentions to make sure that you aren’t going to chase after the wrong thing or pressure people to live up to an impossible standard
Se: remember to make time to smell the roses, appreciate the simple things in life, and enjoy the fruits of your labor; remember that using status symbols to measure human worth enables stress, greed, envy, jealousy, and leads to existential emptiness; while it feels good to get short term rewards, don’t forget that existential fulfillment requires a big-picture, longer term vision; when you meet problems or setbacks in the relationship, step back and reassess the situation, rather than rushing in with half-baked ideas
Fi: understand that human beings are largely motivated by their emotional needs, so it will serve you well and make relationships run more smoothly to understand how to accommodate/fulfill them; when you expect others to live by a rule, you should also do as you say and/or readjust rules that don’t work well, otherwise, you have no credibility or authority through which to influence people; remember that some people need to process their feelings before they’re able to tackle a problem with a clear head, so allow them space to process without judging them or taking their words too much to heart - stay focused and objective even when others aren’t; when you’re unhappy, remember that every problem has a solution, so allow someone to step in and help you understand the underlying causes and come up with the right plan of action