ENFP💞ENFP
ENFP + ENFP
Introduction
Every relationship holds the potential for conflict and the potential for growth. What sets same-type relationships apart is the possibility of profound mutual understanding, as well as the possibility of going to extremes. Same-type relationships can be remarkably comfortable and supportive. Sameness is a blessing when someone knows you so well that they help you see yourself better. However, same-type relationships can also become a curse of deep dysfunction, if the worst aspects of the personality type are allowed to continue unchecked.
Thus, same-type couples should be vigilant about getting stuck in a rut of unhealthy patterns. They should make a conscious effort to challenge each other and steer themselves in the direction of relationship growth, via addressing the personal problems that hold back that growth. In other words, personal development and relationship health are particularly intertwined in same-type pairings. I will list common problems to look out for in each pairing based on functions. Remember that different people are at different stages of type development (consult the Type Development Guide for more detail). Not everyone will exhibit the same level of dysfunction, and some unhealthy patterns are easier to address than others.
Negative patterns to be aware of:
Unhealthy Ne: chooses the wrong way to change situations and/or pushes change without reflecting on the true costs; misuses creativity to take shortcuts or evade consequences; takes pride in being a rebel or disruptor; irrational need to see oneself as witty, clever, or special
Unhealthy Fi: too emotionally driven and too averse to negativity; ongoing self-esteem problems due to distorted self-appraisals; too self-involved to acknowledge other perspectives; won’t address unhealthy, unstable, or unpredictable behavior
Unhealthy Te: stubborn and rejects good advice; inauthentic, due to sacrificing truth and integrity; desperate to prove oneself, through setting (ultimately) meaningless goals or expressing power in childish ways; judgmental and unforgiving of shortcomings and mistakes
Unhealthy Si: easily bored and takes the good things in life for granted; lack of solid/rooted identity due to devaluing past experience and not owning mistakes; irrational fear of being trapped, tied down, or forced to follow through; becomes unmoored, compulsive, inflexible, or pedantic when extremely stressed/unhappy
Ways to use your functions better:
Ne: always consult with people to gauge their comfort level before pushing for change because you are more likely to succeed when everyone is onboard; remember that it actually hurts your progress when you don’t face up to consequences, so a mature person knows to confront problems head on in order to speed up their learning and progress; make sure you do things for the right reasons because, when you push for change for egotistical reasons, you’re more likely to self-sabotage and run into obstacles; remember that, when you advocate for change that produces tangible benefits for every party, you’ll have real reason to feel proud
Fi: improve your emotional intelligence so that you have good strategies for coping with negativity and channeling it into productive activities; always try to appraise yourself and others in a fair and balanced way, by acknowledging both the positive (sources of pride) and the negative (sources of improvement); in order to avoid getting too self-absorbed, always share your feelings with your partner and talk things out together, sensitively and empathetically; make a pact to call out each other’s unhealthy behavior and help each other change for the better
Te: while negative feedback stings, bite the bullet and feel the hurt as necessary to hear the good advice you need to hear; while it is tempting to take shortcuts or make yourself smaller to achieve social goals, doing so will hurt you a lot in the long run, so remember to always take the right path instead of the easy one; remember that feelings are meant to guide you, not haunt you, so when feeling low or down on yourself, admit to it and find healthy ways of healing, rather than doing pointless things to try to prove your feelings wrong; remember that to err is human, so be more forgiving and work to make up for the error rather than casting blame and causing hurt
Si: remember to appreciate and hold on to all the things in your life that have helped, supported, or enabled your progress; own and feel at peace with past mistakes by learning from them and understanding that they were necessary for you to become a better person; remember that if you’re constantly moving to greener pastures, you’ll never leave yourself enough time to truly enjoy your achievements; whenever you get fixated on things that make you unhappy, get back in touch with the person you hope to be, set some purposeful goals, and get back into living life